His friends must take "gag gift" a tad too literally...

So as many of you guys might know, I recently moved to New York for the summer. So far, it's fantastic. I'm fresh with awe! Everything is exciting and beautiful! And there are so many cupcakes! The people are much friendlier than expected too (it's been one whole day and I have yet to be spit upon), and there's chai here. Yes, that's right, I was frightened that there wouldn't be.





Also, my apartment is a titan. There's a gorgeous suede couch (the one place that my roommate has told me I'm not allowed to sit naked, oddly excluding her bed), and fantastic wooden floors that are ideal for high-speed sock-sliding. The current sublessor is a film professor at a university in New Jersey, which (sort of) explains the apartment's general decorative flair.





He has some amazing things-- incredible books (including Deepak Chopra's Kama Sutra, which should make for some G-rated summer reading, and oddly, the exact Biopsychology book required for my on-line class), great movies, and awesome little tchochkes. I'm very upset that the giant Pegasus drum is a tad too suspicious to smuggle.












But let's face it: the child's skeleton costume hanging grimly on the wall is just terrifying. The last thing I want to see before I go to bed is some tiny glow-in-the-dark femur.















But his apartment revealed many excellent finds. This morning my roommate, Liz, and I rearranged our gigantor living room to make ourselves feel more at home, and to gain access to a closet that was blocked by a small coffee table. Curious, and in need of a place to put some of our things, we opened it, only to discover this:

That's right kids, It's complete with THREE tender love openings. I'm positive that this was some sort of joke gift, as it was clearly unopened, but it nevertheless made my morning. Of course, to make my day would have been much more of a feat since it was so amazing. I spent the afternoon job hunting in Manhattan, and learned two valuable things about New York.

1. It is not acceptable to take someone else's napkin
So this isn't fantastic etiquette anywhere, but I felt especially awkward this afternoon in Barnes & Noble, when I was sitting reading by the window and spilled my drink on my shir, as is my general custom. I looked over to my right and saw a pile of napkins. For some reason it didn't occur to me that those napkins could, in fact, belong to the surly-looking Indian man sitting about four inches from me, and so I casually reached for one. Indian man was not amused. He whipped the GQ magazine he was reading aside and pierced me with his napkin-hoarding gaze. My hand hung awkwardly over the pile and then I retracted, blushing. Turns out, napkins are kind of a big deal.

2. I am not a New Yorker
I stopped for lunch today at this place called Tasty's (how the hell could it be bad?) and ordered some pasta, got some chai, and possibly added a few too many "please"-es, because the cashier asked me, "Hey sweetness, where you from?"
Me: Ha, you don't think I'm from around here?
Him: Baby, you too soft to be from this place.
Sigh.

So maybe I don't quite fit in on day one, but there's time :) And I'm so excited to check out what's around me! I do miss Seattle already though. I had the best luck leaving. It was like the city was giving me a goodbye hug. I went to check my bag and the bag-checker man calmly informed me that both of my bags were fifteen pounds overweight.

Him: That'll be $30 for the bags, and $50 for the extra weight. Each.
Me: Oh, total? That's not so bad.
Him: No, additional.
Me: Well that's a little outrageous.
Him: Hey well, it's--
Me: Oh no! I know it's just your job, no biggie, I'm just exasperated and cheap.
Him: Well, all right, so that'll be $160.

I reluctantly pulled out my wallet.

Him: (glancing at my ID) Hey, you go to UW?
Me: Yeah! Do you go there too? Or are you a fan?
Him: Nah, I'm a WSU fan actually.
Me: ... are you going to charge me extra now?
Him: Haha no! In fact, I'm in the mood for some charity. This bag's free. Just gimme $50. Also, I hooked you up, put you in first class.

I have no idea why that happened. I'll be back before we know it, Seattle.